Chapter 3: It's you who let go, remember?

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We were both panting after our 5-mile run, which is what we usually do every Sunday morning. With palms placed on our knees, we decided to rest to catch our breath.


"That. Was. Amazing," Ralph said, stopping at each word.


"I agree," I nodded and took in long inhales and exhales.


He laid down on the ground and placed his arms behind his head, gazing at the bright morning sky. He looked at me and gestured me to lie beside him. "Rest your head here." He put out his right arm where I rested my head, his right hand clasping my shoulder to keep me close to him.


Ralph has always adored everything about firmament. Too naïve? I thought so too. But between the two of us, I’m more juvenile in a thousand ways possible.


Contained by the vast view before us, something out of the ordinary suddenly docked into my mind.


"Hon, ask me something you've never asked before."


"Like what?"


"Anything. I'll try to answer it truthfully," I giggled.


"What do you mean you’ll try? Come here you." He squeezed me tightly in his arms.


"I’m kidding. So, what is it then?"


"Hmmm..." He remained quiet for a few seconds, mulling over for possible questions to ask. "Okay, here it goes... Who am I in your life?"


I sat up, and so did he. I took both of his hands and traced the lines of his palms with my finger. "I’m not going to say that you’re my everything," I started. I saw him pout. "Hey, let me finish first before you give out that signature puppy-dog pout of yours," I told him and he asked me to continue. "I’m not going to entitle you as everything," I paused to take a look at every detail of his face and let myself be drowned in those intense brown eyes of his. "Because you’re already beyond everything that I could ever hope for."


For a moment there, it looked like he was about to cry while holding out a feeble smile across his face. Then, he embraced me without saying anything.


"Are you crying? That’s so gay, ha," I teased as I hug him back. He didn't say anything. My insides were starting to panic since I am not seeing his expression. "Hon, are you okay? Why are you so quiet?"


I heard him sniff. "You’re annoying, are you aware of that?"


I laughed and said,"I know, that’s why you fell in love with me, right?"


He let go of our hug and faced me,"I know and remember to always remind it to me, okay?"


"You don’t need to tell me that. I will get on your nerves and drive you mad every chance I got."


"You silly," he playfully pinched my nose and shyly smiled. "Just so you know, I’m about to kiss you right now," he whispered.


"I know," I winked at him and we shared a kiss right then and there.


It has been almost a year since we became a couple. Our relationship was doing great; as if we were still in our ‘honeymoon’ stage as a couple. We were both in bliss… or so I thought.




He was going to take me out for dinner tonight. I was too curious to find out the occasion since we do not normally go out for dinner just because.


"Hey, you," I greeted.


He was waiting for me outside our front door. I noticed that he was looking a bit off today. "Hey," he smiled faintly.


"Are you okay? Are you coming down with something?" I inquired with much worry.


He took a step back when I was about to place the back of my hand on his forehead, "I’m fine. I’m not sick, trust me."


I was stunned with his hasty gesture that it made me raise an eyebrow. "Honey, maybe we should just go out some other time. It looks like you’re not feeling well."


"Don’t worry, I’m okay. Let’s go," he motioned me to get in, his voice now eliciting aloofness.


I didn’t budge, instead I looked at him intently. "Ralph, what’s wrong?"


"Nothing. I said I’m okay. Now could you kindly get in, Wendy? Please?" He opened the door to the passenger’s seat. I got in just to steer clear from any impending disagreement. He then closed the door and climbed in the driver’s seat. 


"Honey?" I called his attention when I noticed him staring blankly out the windshield.


He flinched, "Oh, yes, yes. Sorry."


He put his hand in his jacket pocket and searched for the keys. He was nervously fishing for it, which bothered me for a while there. "Hey, relax. You don’t have to rush in finding it." He got hold of his keys the moment I finished my sentence.


With his keys clasped in his hands, he again merely stared out front. He kept on giving out loud sighs as he placed the keys in. I reckon was about to start the engine when he suddenly uttered, "This is not working."


"Your car?"


"No, Wendy. Us, it's not working out anymore."




I was trying my best to hold my tears back, to keep composed. I didn't want to break down now, after what he had just said.


We were still in his car, parked just right outside of our main door. In spite of the disheartening situation, I mustered up all of my remaining spirit and spoke, "Hon, if there’s something bothering you, you know that you could always tell it to me upfront." With his hands tightly gripping the steering wheel, I put my hand on top of his. "Hon?"


He removed my hand and replied without bothering to look at me,"Wendy, I’m breaking up with you…"


"W-we could openly take about this, right? And do something to compromise?" I said, my voice shaking.


He lowered his head and replied, "I… can’t. I’m sorry."


"You can’t? So you just wanted it to end this instant, is that it?"


He continued staring at his feet and just sat there quietly. I decided to break the deafening silence.


"What could possibly be your reason for breaking up that you can’t afford to tell? If you want this relationship to end, Ralph, the least you could do for me is answer this: Why?"


Minutes ago, my heart was afflicted with an excruciating twinge, but right now I could feel my emotions seething up with rage, perturbation and skepticism all cauldron-filled.


Then, just when I least expected it, he pulled me close to him and hugged me as tightly as he could. I can feel that familiar warmth that had always made certain of my security in his arms.


"I’m so sorry, Wendy… but I can’t do this anymore."


I could hear the reverberation of my heart shattering, similar to the sound of a glass breaking into pieces. I pulled away from his embrace and stepped out of his car. I was heading for our front door when I felt his arms wrapping me from behind.


He whispered, "I’m really sorry, Wendy. I hope you’ll believe me that I really am sorry." I felt his tears drop on my arms, which only aggravated the searing pain inside me. "I love you… much more than you could ever imagine. I wish I could tell you everything, Honey."


The tears that I’ve tried to suppress were now freely flowing from my eyes as well. Every teardrop resonates the sad melody of my self-composed sonata.


"I’m too tired of your I’m sorry-s, Ralph. Go if you say you’ll go." I removed his arms around me and faced him. "Just… just take care of yourself."


Shunning away any last glimpse of him, I walked inside the house and closed the door behind me ― sealing off with it our once heavenly, picture-perfect relationship.




"I hope you’d wait for me. Once all of this has been settled, I hope you could still take me back again."


I wanted to tell you this bluntly, Wendy… but I decided to stop myself because it would be iniquitous on your part since I could not divulge my real reasons in the first place.


Hon, I’m so sorry. I hope you would still find it in your heart to forgive me someday.


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