Chapter 14: That's the way the cookie crumbles.

/
0 Comments



Have you ever felt as if everyone is moving forward except you? Like the whole world is passing you by with every blink of an eye? That’s exactly how I see my life right now. Sluggish, pointless, and tedious. Everyone and everything around me is always on the go and running towards a certain goal that they sometimes appear blurry to me already with all the rush. While I, on the other hand, have remained stock-still.


Hoy, Mañalac, are you even listening to me?” Sydney snapped.


“Sorry, Syd, you were saying?”


“What’s wrong with you? You look frazzled, and your mind always drifts off.” Then, she gasped and whispered, “Are you taking drugs?”


I glared at her. “Do you want my parents to kill me?”


“Oh, thank God,” she sighed. “I wouldn’t know how to deal with you if that happens. Anyway, what time will your class end? My little sister wants to tag along later when we go to Podium.”


“We’re going to Podium?”


“That’s what I was telling you, nut head, but little did I know you’re having your head in the clouds the whole time,” she ranted.





“London,” Sydney tugged her sister’s arm. “Stop flirting with that boy or I swear on our father’s grave you are going to get it from me.”


“You’re so harsh.”


Syd suddenly looked up and frowned, “I’m so sorry, Daddy, but she’s just so adamant sometimes.”


I merely sighed and handed London the two dresses that I was holding. “Here, try this on, London,” I told her. I turned back to Sydney after London went inside the fitting room. “Am I depressed kaya, Syd? Do I look like one?”


You are paranoid, not depressed,” she taunted.


But I ignored the cynicism and continued. “How about withdrawn? Maybe I’m becoming anti-social.”


She snickered. “An anti-social socialite? Now that’s hilarious.”


“Syd, come on, I’m serious. I swear something’s wrong with me, don’t you notice it?”


She patted me shoulders sarcastically and replied, “You’re single, that’s how it feels. You’ll get used to it.”


London went out of the fitting room and showed us the second dress that I picked. “Ate Syd’s has been single for two straight years now so I’m sure she knows what she’s talking about,” London said with a wink.


“Oh, shut up and decide on the freakin’ dress already,” she scowled.





When I went downstairs that morning to join my family for breakfast, something was different. Max was the only one sitting in the dining table. At this time of the day my parents should’ve already been there, so this could only mean one thing.


“They went to where this time?”


“Berlin,” she replied while pouring strawberry syrup on her pancakes that is already teeming with whipped cream.


My sister and I were used to this kind of morning settings. We just have to look at the corkboard in the kitchen where a “love” note awaits us explaining that they’re off to ________ because of ________ and they’ll be back on ________, and then signed with: Love, Mom and Dad. Oh, plus a bunch of P.S. and a couple of P.P.S. The contents of the letter were mostly the same so it became unpredictable for me already that is why I don’t bother reading it anymore and ask Maxine instead.

 
But despite their usual overseas trips, my parents always make it certain that all our needs, and even our wants, are taken care of while they’re away, but in a professional way. Unlike the common closeness of Filipino children among their nannies, Max and I have never reached that level of familiarity to our nursemaids or to Manuel, the appointed majordomo of our house. Yes, they’re doing their affairs well but that’s simply it. Nothing more, nothing less. Just pure business, no emotional baggage. Well, I couldn’t blame them since that is not part of their job description to play the role of our parents.


And since neither of our parents could provide us the emotional attention and upbringing that we need from them, I at least make it to a point to suffice my sister’s.


“So, where do you want to go today?”


“Let’s go bowling and ice skating!”


“Your wish is my command,” I kidded.


Even though Maxine is a quintessential brat, she’s still my only sibling and I have to look out after her. Besides, if we wouldn’t take care of each other, who would?





“Wendy, life isn’t Burger King; you can’t always have it your way.” Sydney was lecturing me while we’re on our way to their house.


Tama bang i-compare sa fast food chain?” I replied with a raised eyebrow.


“Do you really want to figure out what’s wrong with you?”


“Yes,” I answered assertively.


“You promise you won’t freak out?”


“Why the hell would I freak out, you loony.” I brought the car to a halt in front of their gate.


“London, you go in first. I just need to talk with Wendy before she might end up in a mental ward.”


London laughed and I just grunted. “Bye, Ate Wends. Thank you for helping me out. I had a great time.”


“You’re welcome. We should do this again soon and we shouldn’t take Syd with us,” the two of us chuckled.


“Funny,” she sarcastically replied while London mirthfully went inside their house.


“Okay, let’s hear it,” I told Syd.


She sighed. “I think you’re just stressed. You feel pressured that everyone’s doing a great job and is having the time of their lives, while you aren’t.”


“Just stressed out? For real?”


“When was the last time you went out? Not counting today that is.”


“Er,” I hesitated. “A few weeks ago?” She raised an eyebrow at me as if saying ‘Really?’“Okay, maybe a few months,” I admitted.


“See. You hardly get out of your house anymore, because you prefer to stay in your comfort zones where you feel safe. And that’s what making your life monotonous. Good thing I know exactly what you need,” she proudly said with a wide grin.


“Uh-oh, I don’t like this.”


“You’re such a chicken. Anyway, what you need in your life right now is something that would ignite the almost-vanished excitement in your glamorous life.”


“Like?” I was clueless.


“Gahd, you’re hopeless,” she muttered. “You need to take risks, Chi. You need to take a chance, to put something at stake, to venture! You need to skate on thin ice.”


“Skate on this ice,” I repeated absentmindedly. “Care to bestow a more concrete plan regarding that?”


“I’ve got one for you: Ask a complete stranger on a date.


“WHAT?! Have you lost your mind?”


“I don’t know, have you?” she teased. “Come on, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”


“That stranger might be a pervert or worse, a criminal!”


“Fine, then anything that has to do with a stranger then. But whatever, it’s still up to you if you want to pursue with it or not. Anyhow, I gotta go inside now. See you tomorrow at school.” She gave me a peck on the cheek and got off the car.


“Anything that involves a stranger. Yeah, right,” I shook my head and chortled when she was finally inside their house.





“Why didn’t you fight for her?” Maxine continued to egg me on while I loosened the knot of my skates.


“The battle’s already over even before brawl, what’s there to fight for?” I answered while busying myself with removing the skates and changing into my sneakers.


“But you love her, isn’t that enough?”


“It was, for me. I guess it wasn’t enough for her. Hey, aren’t you hungry?” I replied, hoping that this conversation would ebb away already.


“I want Yellow Cab’s Manhattan Meatlovers, ‘yung 18 inches!”


I thought I was able to silence her from asking questions once and for all when I bought her food, but I guess not.


“So you’re just going to let her get away just that? You’re not even going to fight for her anymore?”


“Max, I told you. I’m done fighting. Besides, it seems like Pam doesn’t want me to anyway. Maybe she’ll be happier with this Ralph guy.”


“Maybe, maybe not. Still, you shouldn’t stop trying.”


I sighed, “Yeah, yeah. Says the love doctor.”


“Okay, I have a new question. What if Mom and Dad set you up with girl to be your wife, would you marry her?”


“It depends,” I answered idly.


“What do you mean ‘it depends’? There’s no ‘it depends’ option here. So, what will you do?”


“I don’t know, maybe, if she happens to be pretty and nice.”


“Pretty and nice? That’s your image of an ideal girl? So if a girl shows up looking all pretty and nice you’ll ask her to marry you right then and there?”


“Of course not. Why are you even asking these questions in the first place?”


“Because they went to Berlin to meet with your future wife.”


I think the pizza bite just got lodged into my throat.